"Families are like old quilts. Although they tend to unravel at times, each can be stitched back together with love."
I really like this quote, but I'm tempted to make some edits.
I agree that families can be stitched together with love, but I believe it requires more than that.
Love is a fundamental value and foundation that is essential to family work, and what motivates family members to come together. I would add that families also need shared values, connection, healthy and effective communication, healthy boundaries, respect, and understanding.
So, what happens when families unravel?
Although conflict is a normal occurrence for families, the challenges faced by each family is unique whether you come from a traditional, non-traditional or blended family.
I prefer to ask families how they handle conflict.
If I was a fly on the wall what would I see, hear, observe or witness? Is your family constantly at odds that even the simplest issues rarely get resolved? Or have things gotten so bad that you feel like strangers in your own home?
When I'm not thinking about families as quilts, I think of families as having to participate in a strategic balancing act. What one family member does influences the other, naturally changing the state of balance or order.
Families require a lot of juggling because there are a lot of moving parts. Which means, families need to learn how to adapt to and integrate all these moving pieces.
What if I told you conflict can be resolved, order can be restored and your family is more united and connected than you currently think?
I know this sounds far-fetched right now, but let's be honest, you wouldn’t be reading this if you weren't searching for, or didn’t have the slightest hope that things could be different.
I'm honored to be given the opportunity to work with each family, and I respect the perspective of each family member.
Each family member's perspective may be different, but each is valid, And, it's my role to observe and understand the structure, distinctive patterns and interactions among family members, and within the bigger family unit.
I want to make my observations accessible to each family. My goal is to provide families with the awareness to understand the structure and predictable pattern so characteristic of their family.
It's at this time, that families can change the order using tools that make sense and are tailored to fit their needs.
Changing a pattern, finding order, and balancing a system take time, and that's why I'm available after hours to address any concerns that arise and to provide on-the-spot problem-solving and support to families I work with.
Still have questions?
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